It's a twin thing...

I have mentioned before that I have a twin sister - Tina. Twins run in my family and I am amazed that I, nor my twin has had a set of our own. Here's the breakdown:

My mother is a Twin - to a sister
My father is a Twin - to a sister
Mom and Dad got married - Had Tina and I
Dad got remarried - Had another set of twins - Brother and Sister who are 8 years younger then us.

So, if you didn't catch that...My mom, dad, myself and my little brother and sister are all twins...I know crazy right??

Tina and I have not always gotten along. When we were young we fought like cats and dogs and sometimes we were plain mean. Though through everything we were still as close as two people could be. Thinking back, I can't believe the ways that I treated her and she still loved me...maybe it is true we hurt the ones we love the most.

Through out all of these crazy fights and awful words that we spoke to one another, we were probably taking other issues that were causing us pain in our lives, out on each other, I always knew that she was a beautiful person who would do anything for me, stick up for me and have my back no matter what. We were never separated by these fights/issues - almost brought closer together. Hindsight is 20/20.

We have been together since the moment we were.....ah hem....conceived. To try and explain to someone what is like to be a twin, or the bond between twins is impossible - there simply isn't anything like it.

Through out all out the years of fighting and not getting along many people would tell us - "when you get older she will be your best friend...." I never thought we would be as close as we are today. She is my best friend....they were right.

Once we grew up and realised we were hurting each other by our verbal abuse...and I'm not going to lie sometimes we got physical too...we came to a mutual understanding that we love each other obviously, but we kinda liked each other too. Twin Power - Activate! (sorry cheesy inside twin joke....)

I got married in 2002 and Tina got married in 2007. Through planning our weddings and being each other's MOH's at each other's weddings, to raising our families together has been so priceless and I am so grateful to be able to witness my sisters life in an up close and and personal way. Maybe sometimes too up close...whatever she'll have to deal.

My twin is the best mother to Loghan (3), Mara (16 months) and Jackson (debuting on February 21st via c-section). Her husband Johnny is an absolute catch...he is a great man through and through...he's one of the good ones. Their family is the closest thing to me besides mine of course ( and my mom)...I am so happy that I have Tina to battle these parenting days when I feel like I'm the only one with a child whose head spins all the way around....when I said before that my friends had seen my crazy, that is an understatement of what Tina has witnessed....she always know what to say. She's my soft spot when it feels like the world is ganging up against me. I love you Twin B.

When people say that their significant other is their other half, I agree Craig is my other half. It's just that Tina was my other half first....a 2 person wolf pack....."we are the two best friends that anyone could have" My family and her family have created this weird little wolf pack of love and a bunch of crazy cousins who get to be surrounded by the Ible-Wray craziness of life. Perfection!

Oh and she's a ginger too.

 Twin A's Wedding - 2002

Twin B's Wedding - 2007

She's known my daughter's from the moment they were born:

Taylor - 3 days old

Kira 3 weeks old ( and Lognan 2 months old)

Our 30th Birthday 

She's the weird one...clearly.

Mama Drama

I have been judged as a mother since the minute I arrived at the hospital in labour...

Recently I came across an link on FB to a great blog - Brooding - I read it and instantly was brought back to all the same feelings this mom was talking about. I remember arriving at the hospital almost 5 years ago when I was in labour with Taylor and once they decided I was in active labour I was sent to my delivery room. The the nurse who cared for me was nice and pleasant and started with her questions...It was like being in an interview while having back labour and contractions right on top of each other..also known as hell.

Is this you 1st pregnancy?
What type of room would you like?
How much do you weigh?
Is this your husband?
Are you planning on breastfeeding baby? - This is when it happened...I was not prepared...

My answer to her question was "I am going to try - But I will probably use formula as well"...She looked at me and without even saying a word noted what I had said down on my chart - But it was the look on her face, the way she raised her eyebrow - I felt judged. After Taylor was delivered she told me that seeing as though this was my first babe, maybe I wasn't aware that breast milk was best and that it wasn't a good idea "in her opinion" to offer her formula - my feeling of being judged was confirmed. Since that moment and my 2nd daughter delivered - The judgment has not stopped - I am also guilty.

I am actually shocked at what people will do or say or give you 'advice' on...It amazes me that a perfect stranger walked up to my soundly sleeping 3 month old and took her pacifier out of her mouth and continued to tell her ~ in baby talk ~ that her mommy shouldn't let her have that dirty thing in her mouth and how would she ever learn how to talk with this disgusting thing in her mouth constantly??... It was one of those moments when something is SO SHOCKING that I froze and didn't know what to say...so I took the pacifier back and just walked away. Judged.

Or the time I was in Superstore and Taylor threw an epic temper tantrum complete with kicking the floor, screaming at the most disturbing high pitch and ripping stuff off the shelves - I found a stool and placed her on a timeout in the aisle and let her finish her tantrum there while I watch from about 15 feet away. I was proud of myself for my first public timeout and how I was surprisingly calm, cool and collected! Enter the other shopper who took it upon herself to ask me just what I thought I was doing to my child leaving her there screaming "MOMMY!!!" she said, and I quote "this is terrible, your child is screaming for you, she needs you...why on earth would you put her through that and make her sit there??!!". Judged.

I of course am not innocent in the judging department....It is human nature. We all do it and are of course not thinking of what that mother may be going through in her life. (we act like of course we've never done the very things we are judging for...not me right??) 
Every time I find myself subconsciously judging another mother I see out and about, I am consciously going to change my thinking.

The mother with her toddler not properly dressed for the bone chilling cold - Perhaps she can't afford gloves for her son.

The mother with the screaming kid at the grocery store late at night - Perhaps she's a single mom who went to school all day and worked into the evening past dinner and this is her only time to buy a few groceries.

The mother with the kid having an end of the world temper tantrum in the middle of the mall - Perhaps her child has had a rough day, this is their hundredth meltdown of the day and that mother just doesn't have the energy to deal for a few minutes - and on top of that it also took her 45 minutes to get 3 kids bundled, in the car and to the mall and she is not leaving until she pick up what she needed.


These are just a few of the things that I have caught myself judging other mothers on - even though I have been that mother with the freaking out kids .... I have still found myself having these thoughts. It is no way to be...why are we this way? If each of us just take a minute, sit back and just remember that every mother out there has the same hopes and dreams for their children...to be happy and healthy.

Motherhood is tough, rugged, sometimes not pretty but at the end of each day - no matter what kind of day I had with my girls....I know tomorrow is another day and we'll try again for a tantrum free day, an in bed earlier day, a guilt free day. Is there such a thing as a guilt free day as a mother - I have not some across it!

We need to be more understanding of one another, more open to admitting that life is messy and imperfect and so is motherhood, and willing to ask for help and accept it when it's offered.

I am so blessed to have a wonderful circle of mama's that I am raising my kids with. I have known most of these ladies for close to 18 years. It feels so wonderful that I have a supportive group of friends and I don't have feel bad if they happen to witness one of my crazy, insane moments. 5 minutes later we share and enjoy the good ones!

Don't be so hard on yourself or other mothers - You just never know what someone else is enduring.

11:16am & 6:32am

My dreams have come true - I am a mother.

I have forever, as long as I can remember wanted to be a mother. I know, I know...blah blah...

I remember before I had kids what it was like to listen to people go on and on about their little ones...I'm not going to lie sometimes I tuned out...just a little. (so there's your warning....I don't mind if you tune out...maybe)

It is one of those things in life that you just cannot describe 100% to someone until they are a parent themselves. My mom used to say all the time ''you'll understand when you have kids..." Now I do mom.
It is like throwing yourself into a wind tunnel of every emotion coming at you all at once and a love that you could never imagine knowing or comprehend feeling. Endless and amazing.

For me one of my most favorite things to do is to share and experience something with them that you can see the pure joy change them...and change me. That happened this past Sunday. I took my 4 year old on a date to see the live Broadway production of the Beauty and The Beast. It was the best!

We sat 1st row and I watched Taylor more than I watched the show. It was her fist major show, and she was trying to be such a lady...In her booster seat... I lifted her up and she could see the orchestra practicing before the show...She was in awe that the music came for real live instruments. The whole show she was smiling from ear to ear...naturally Belle is her favorite princess.

However the best moment of the whole experience was at the end of the performance when the performers were bowing and we were clapping and thanking them for an AMAZING show...I looked over at Taylor and she was smiling, staring up at Belle and tears were streaming...The stage lights lit up her face and she announced that she "was not crying." We sat for a minute after the show and I told her that it was okay to cry and asked her if these were happy tears. She said that they were happy tears because Belle and the Beast fell in love. So then I cried. Seriously we must be related or something...what a beautiful child. We held hands and walked out of the theater. The best day I've had in a long time.

Watching the girls respond to their emotions - and trust me it's not always so cute...(today before dinner the emotion of the day was anger...and announcing to the house that she was mad by throwing all her things on her bed against the bedroom door) Seriously not sure where she gets that.... ;)

Kira went on her own daddy and daughter date to the Fantasy Land at West Edmonton Mall...they had a great time and their own experiences. Kira told me that they went on rides, had ice cream and talked....Love it.

We do mostly everything with both Craig and I but it is so nice to do special things one-on-one with each of them. Next time we'll switch it up...Ahhh life is flying by! The saying is true that once you have kids it just flies....

Hold on to them - they are only this little for such a short time...Children are amazing and I am so blessed that I have them in my life, not only my own, but my nieces and nephews and my best friends' children that I get to watch grow up with mine...A new generation right before our eyes. Pure love.

Taylor Victoria Lynn 5/19/07 - 11:16am
Kira Brenda Lee 10/23/08 - 6:32 am


“Look at children. Of course they may quarrel, but generally speaking they do not harbor ill feelings as much or as long as adults do. Most adults have the advantage of education over children, but what is the use of an education if they show a big smile while hiding negative feelings deep inside? Children dont usually act in such a manner. If they feel angry with someone, they express it, and then it is finished. They can still play with that person the following day.”
― Dalai Lama

Christmas = L.O.V.E.

It's been a busy, exciting and draining last couple of weeks! Firstly Christmas was wonderful and full of great memories and traditions that we love to do with our little family...The girls were SO excited this year about Santa, reindeer, stockings, Christmas parties, and being with loved ones. We are so blessed to have happy, healthy children to love!
Our Christmas was brought to a big halt however on the 23rd & 24th. My beautiful Niece Mara {My Twin sister's daughter}  has been suffering from seizures since October...It has been hard for my sister and her husband, but they are so calm and handle everything so amazingly! Mara was unfortunately in the hospital unexpectedly{we are so grateful for the Stollery here in Edmonton} when she started having seizures on the 23rd & 24th.
Nothing prepares you for a call from a parent rushing their child to the hospital. Heart wrenching. My Nephew Loghan hung out with us for Christmas Eve and my sister and her hubby made it home in time for Christmas morning to be with him! Mara is fine and back to her normal self....Auntie loves you!

Craig and I were reminded again what is the real reason for the season, which at our house = family, love, heath and celebrating all of those things with people who we love.

Here is a pic of my wonderful Twin sister Tina, fantastic Bro in law Johnny and my beautiful niece and nephew Mara and Loghan ...{and we can't forget about Wrayling #3 debuting on February 21st} Can't wait!

I Love you 5.

Here are some pictures of Christmas at the Ible house:

Also remember my post about Taylor questioning Santa's existence....{and how devastated I was about this even being a thought in her 4 year old mind??!}  well here is a picture of the letter that Mr Santa himself ;) wrote back to the girls and left hanging in our Christmas tree. The girls LOVED this and could not believe that Santa wrote them a note back! I was so happy to see that sparkle of of the Christmas season in their eyes! They are once again believers!!! I hope this stays true for a long time to come...because seriously...who doesn't believe in Santa...that's just crazy...he's real.

We Finished off the Christmas season with a wonderful New Years party at My great friends Pam & John's house. It was a fantastic bash!

Happy New Year!

Wishing you lots of love, crazy happiness and healthy families!