Since the 1st I have thought about the things that I have learnt, discovered and realized in 2012. There has been a lot, some good, some bad....but it all adds up to the realization that I am so very lucky to have the life that I have, the happy and healthy children that I do, and the family and friends who mean so much to me.
Here are a few things that come to mind, that obviously I've always known to be true, but have been brought to my attention in big ways:
1) We live among and around evil. I'm talking about the Sandy Hook shooting. I'm going to get this one over with because its terrible and I've been avoiding it in conversation, on social media and on the news, as my friend Pam would say I do not have the emotional reserves for these types of things. Don't get me wrong it is not to pretend it didn't happen or to be ignorant and disrespectful to the victims and their families...but out of respect for them. I do not need to read every article or post to FB to honor their lives and who they were. I have done that on my own, in my private thoughts and prayers for them. The day it happened, I had the most overwhelming need to go and pick up my kids from school...I held off though. The realization that there is that there is that kind of evil among us at any given time is disturbing...but the reality is that something like that is so unlikely to happen to us that there is no point in consuming myself in all of the details and overwhelming my heart and soul with it would do no good for me or my children. Instead I choose to honor them on my own, in my own way, I hold my children close to me when I can and do not live with fear.
2) Be thankful for what you have. Just before Christmas the girls and I witnessed a house fire that had unfortunately been a home explosion, due to a gas line that was hit by a contractor. Thankfully the family who has two sons under 2 got out in the nick of time. They lost every possession they owned, except the clothes on their backs. We got home and immediately started collecting things to donate to them. The girls went through their toys and we chose a few boxes of toys, books, movies that they wanted to give the family. They asked alot of questions as I'm sure it was hard for them to wrap their 4 and 5 year old minds around what was happening...I know it was hard for me. My sister and her family also were so generous and gave them many items that they needed. Our friends and family came together to raise money for this family and we delivered it to them the week before Christmas. It was so important to me to have my children involved in this, it was amazing to watch the empathy they had at their young ages...they handed over the money, items and gift certificates themselves and it brought me to tears watching them. It was an amazing experience to watch a community come together and help out in any way they could. Emotionally, for me, it seemed even more heightened that it was right before Christmas...as we're out shopping for things, buying things we don't really need and here was this family and they didn't even have a toothbrush. I am thankful for what we have, and I know all that matters the most is the 4 souls that make up my little family - and this Christmas, that family had their 4 souls too. They were very lucky, and the rest is just stuff and things...if we have our family, we have everything.
3) Bullies. We had our very first experience with one of our children being bullied...I know I was shocked too. I'm not going to get into the whole thing, however I will tell you how it changed my daughter. Everyone raises their kids with the best intentions and I know for us, we drill into them about respecting others, themselves...never using their hands to hit anyone etc etc.
Then they go to school and you don't have control over who they are with, what they are doing or what they are experiencing or seeing. They soon come to realize that everyone is not nice, not everyone is going to like them and they're not going to like everyone either. Even though we may not be fond of someone, doesn't give you the right to verbally and physically bring harm to them. Now, I know not all people will agree but - we tell our children that they have a right to defend themselves if they are being hurt. If that means fighting back, then so be it. Obviously there are a million circumstances and scenarios - if an adults there, obviously talking to that person about what happened is the appropriate course of action - but they know that if they are in a situation where they need to physically defend themselves, they have the right to do that. How sad is it that I've had to have that conversation with my daughter already...
4) People who live in glass houses should not throw stones. The pot calling the kettle black and karma all come to mind when I think about this past year. It is truly ironic what people think is acceptable or unacceptable, until they are in the other persons shoes. Live a good life - don't hurt others with your actions, and don't complain about it for another minute when you turn around and do the same thing to another. Simple as that.
5) We are not promised tomorrow.Simply put we take life in general for granted. 2012 has taught me to truly appreciate the people in my life, and I realize that I take what I need from relationships and try to give the other person what they need. We take people in our lives for granted - it's natural and we all do it - although I am trying to not do that...I want to tell people how important they are to me...and what they mean to me. If someone is ripped away from me in an instant I don't want to wonder if they knew how much I loved them or what they mean to my life. So if you're not all up for the mushy gushy stuff...then too bad for you. You're going to hear it. If it makes you uncomfortable, you should ask yourself why? We're here today and as of right now - who knows what lies ahead tomorrow or the day after that. Tell your friends and your family what they mean to you...open your heart to people and have no regrets. If something happens tomorrow to someone important in your life, you'll wish you had.
6) The most romantic thing I've ever heard anyone say was at my sisters wedding. In their bride and groom speech, Tina told Johnny that it didn't matter where they travelled or lived, home to her was where he was. The most important thing to her is that their hearts are together and wherever that is, it's home. Who knew I'd come to appreciate that simple way of looking at life 5 and 1/2 years later. Thanks twin B.
Happy new year!!